He asked to "fluff my boner.."
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
