found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
