PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
