So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Randomize
