i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize