Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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