I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
