you turned your livingroom into a bong?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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