the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cut my penus on the lid.
pop tarts are not kleenex
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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