I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
