That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.