Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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