i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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