All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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