we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
