Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
