she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All the doctor said was why
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
