Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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