Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize