the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
