I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
