well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
