I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
