OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
