So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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