the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
false alarm. still invincible.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
