Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
