Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
