I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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