Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
