He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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