Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
