What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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