i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize