I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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