Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
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BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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