she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
