i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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