I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
