nutella sex= disaster
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize