obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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