This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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