He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize