But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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