is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
