He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
NoShamevember. You game?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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