And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
