one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
