Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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