it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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