New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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