there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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