Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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