The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
