just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
