Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
